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Funny Sports Story Of The Day: Expect Winners, Get Wieners

Posted by representingpuroresu on 02/24/2010

Dodging foul balls in the stands at baseball games is bad enough. I know that from experience…and 2 very-near beanings. But dodging foul hot dogs? Better choose your seats in Kansas City wisely then. The hilarious yet true story from Yahoo Sports’ “Big League Stew” MLB blog:

If there’s anything more American than shooting and throwing encased meats into a throng of loud and hungry people, it’s silly-sounding lawsuits that make for good headlines on Internet websites.

And, well, hot dog! Wouldn’t you know that we’re finally receiving a beautiful combination of the two?

According to a lawsuit filed in Jackson County, Missouri, a Kansas City Royals fan is suing the team for $25,000 for negligence and battery.

Mind you, those charges aren’t for the Royals averaging 98 losses over the last six seasons or signing Jason Kendall in the offseason.

No, they’re for an alleged incident in which the team’s crown-wearing mascot Sluggerrr threw a hot dog into the crowd and hit a man named John Coomer in the eye behind the third-base dugout at a game last September.

TMZ.com attacks the details with relish:

“Coomer claims Sluggerrr eventually put the (hot dog) air gun down — and started firing off the wieners by hand … when, according to the suit, things went horribly wrong.

“In the docs, Coomer claims “Slugger lost control of his throw or was reckless with his throw, and threw the hotdog directly into the Plaintiff.”

“Coomer claims the dog hit him right in his left eye — leaving him with a detached retina and the development of cataracts.”

If I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Letting a costumed critter distribute wieners is all bun and games until somebody gets hurt. Also, watching one of your customers get injured via a projected lunch from a Simba wannabe simply isn’t kosher in the ballpark business.

Coomer’s case claims that the Royals “failed to adequately train its agents … in the proper method in which to throw hotdogs into the stands at Kauffman Stadium.” Meanwhile, it now seems curious that the Royals advertised the open position of Sluggerrr for the 2010 season a few months back. (Was the opening related to this incident?)

At any rate, we came up with 10 qualifications for people interested in the job when it was posted. Perhaps we should add “pitching lessons from Zack Greinke” to our requirements?


Geez, what was that dog made of? Brick? Or was that Stephen Strasburg in the mascot costume? And a footnote from AP: “The Royals declined to comment Tuesday. The team is looking for someone new to wear the mascot’s large lion costume, spokesman Toby Cook says there’s “no connection” with the hot dog affair.” But seriously, this is a risk you take going to the ballpark. They always say stuff like “ticketholder assumes the risk that comes with attending, team’s not responsible for injuries that may occur by flying stuff into stands” or something along those lines. It’s on the back of your ticket (or on the front if, like me, you buy online and print at home). Read it sometime. Thinking about it, this lawsuit sounds like fraud to me and worth nothing more than a few laughs. And a hot dog for dinner tonight. Pass the ketchup.


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